Ask questions to explore opinions, concerns and interests

Ask open, exploring questions about how exactly someone sees something, what he/she really wants or what he/she is really concerned about.


  • Can you please explain that a bit more?
  • Why is this important to you?
  • What is your concern?
  • What are the reasons you don’t like this?
  • Why do you think that?
  • How do you see that exactly?

Activating and pulling to the WE-side

Leary’s Rose

Asking exploring questions concerning the vision of the other is a technique that makes people more active and that pulls them to the We-side.

Respecting SCARF (status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, fairness) leads to ownership, identification and recognition.

By being interested in the other, you create a relationship and you give status. On the relationship level you stress autonomy as you value the other person’s opinion. When someone shows resistance, it creates fairness when you explore the reasons behind it and when you to try to help, if possible.